Dear Flabby,

“What are you to do when your favorite band doesn’t give you a show in over a year???

Please help!!

Signed, Jeff

Dear Flabby,

“What happens when my old lady doesn’t want to give up the shiny-sheen to me?”

Signed,  Ben

Well, Flabby received a couple of inquiries that can be handled by the same answer.

First of all the question from Flabby fan, Jeff … “What are you to do when your favorite band doesn’t give you a show in over a year?” and from Flabby fan, Ben, …. “What happens when my old lady doesn’t want to give up the shiny-sheen to me?”

Now, let’s get serious, at least for a very short while.  Hmmmm, favorite band giving you a show, the old lady giving up the shiny-sheen.

Both require patience, but, the band question does not require graveling and ‘honey-doo’ demands that generally turn a grown man into a snail, all for a little shiny-sheen.

Patience for both, but the one that really blows you away doesn’t require a bunch of hugging afterwards.

Patience for both, but which one allows you to SCREAM for a couple of hours, without the cops being called?!?

Boy, sometimes we get our priorities twisted!!

Flabby’s advise …. Burn a big fatty, and be patient … and tell the old lady to burn two big fatties and take a shower!

Dear Flabby,

I have a situation I do not know how to handle. I have a bunch of good friends, 4 couples. We have all been friends for a long time. All of the couples are between 45 And 55 years old, except for one couple. They are in their early 30s/ They are good friends but here’s where we have a problem. Everytime we all go out together, all five couples we all love the same things. Then the 30’s couple always starts to blast rap music. We are all rockers, except the 30s couple. At parties, in their car in our cars, they constantly push rap down our throats. We are going to have a party soon, and I am afraid that everyone at the party will be turned off as soon as the 30s couple arrives and starts the rap music…..do I NOT invite them or what………

Signed, bewildered.

Hey bewildered,

What an ugly set up. First of all…rap music is for those that do not know the difference between a cherry and a boil.…..I have the answer for you….Invite your 30’s couple to the party.….As soon as they get in the door start pumping some modern herb into their lungs….Keep the fog rollin’….Just about the point that they begin begging for a popsicle, Start playing 21^st century schizoid man, from King Crimson….Keep playing at 110 dbs, and sit the 30s couple down…Keep the modern herb flowing until the 30s couples necks become like rubber..After 12 to 15 “wows”, you will begin to see a change in their demeanor………From that point on you will Have a  30s couple that begs for more classic acid rock.You will notice they talk less, and listen more. And you will notice a significant weight gain  in them,too…..Conversion complete, and you have done your part to continue the renaissance of classic rock and roll.

Remember, Flabby always says….smoke em don’t joke em.